Phew, this has been an intense two weeks. Talk about transition - goodbye work, hello a decade of medical training. First step: a year’s worth of general chemistry in 12 weeks. But you know what? I kind of love it. Maybe it’s because stoichiometry is pretty closely related to cooking…

Anyway, I just wanted to let you, my darling readers, know that I had not abandoned you! Now that I’m back in the saddle again, get ready for some wonderful guest posts from our correspondent in Hong Kong, the Sexy Spoon’s Essential Kitchen List, Meat for the Healthy Spoon, and so much more!

I am honored to announce that the Sexy Spoon has made a guest appearance on the uber fabulous blog Mix Tape Therapy! Ms. Mix & Bitch is one of my favorites out there in the blogosphere - I hope you check out her blog and the latest Sexy Spoon recipe: Intense Comfort Cookies for When McSteamy Doesn’t Call. If you need life advice that goes beyond what to cook for a second date on a Tuesday night, Ms. Mix & Bitch is your woman. She’ll also spin you the perfect list of songs for your existential quandary.

I am thrilled to present another guest post, this one by the fabulous Sexy Spoon photographer herself, Renee Claire! Renee and I came to know each other many moons ago in college when we were members of the school’s modern dance company. Besides being an incredible photographer, Renee is an amazing artist, dancer, choreographer, intellectual and savvy business woman. And she can cook! We are kindred spirits and it has been an honor to have her not only as a creative collaborator, but also as a dear dear friend.

Eggs Bennie
by Renee Claire

I have always loved cooking for other people. Few things give me as much satisfaction as whipping up a delectable dinner, and watching the glow of pleasure slide across sly smiles around the table. That, for me, is bliss.

I am also a firm believer in treating yourself to the same pleasure. My mother, while a fabulous cook, is also a big proponent of drinking her tea upright in the kitchen and cramming down a piece of whole-wheat toast before dashing out the door. Luckily for me, I have been able to sidestep some genetic tendencies (cowlicks and crazy eyebrows notwithstanding). While I have had my fair share of eating over the kitchen sink, I am also not above coming home at 9 pm on a Wednesday night and starting a three course dinner…for myself. I actually get teased about this all the time—my enormous appetite, my inability to cook for one, and my insistence upon eating a proper, homemade, well-balanced meal every night, no matter what time I get home.

There’s dinner, and then, there’s breakfast. No matter how much you love to cook, for yourself or anyone else, there is nothing that reminds you of your single-status quite like Sunday morning breakfast. No forearm curled up under your shoulder, no warm breath on your neck and certainly no full body-squeezes from behind when you are washing dishes. On these morning, or nights, when I am alone, I firmly believe in finding other ways to nourish my soul. Whoever said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach was absolutely correct—he just forgot to include women as well.

Here is a delicious breakfast that I made for myself on a recent morning when I had all the time in the world, and nothing to do but enjoy it.

Ingredients:
2 eggs
2 Toasted bread rounds (I like sourdough, but you can use French bread, challah, English muffins, or even tasty crackers, if that’s what you have lying around)
Abbreviated Hollandaise—1 T butter and a wedge of lemon
Two small pieces ham steak
Crumbled goat cheese
Dash Cayenne (or paprika, if you don’t like spice)
Salt and Pepper to taste
Olive Oil (for greasing)
Cherry or grape tomatoes

Note: 2 of everything does not denote number of servings. Having two things on a plate make things look more balanced (we eat with our eyes as much as with our mouths), and I’m a girl who can pack it away—one egg simply will not do.

Turn the oven to 350º. Use Pam or olive oil to lightly grease the center two cups of a muffin tin (I like silicon, but metal will work just as well). Gently break each egg into the middle two slots, being careful not to break the yolks. Sprinkle the eggs with goat cheese, salt and pepper. Fill the remaining empty cups with about 1/3 full with water (this will prevent the eggs from burning, and will evenly distribute the heat) and pop in the oven for 5-7 minutes (depending on how cooked you like your yolks).

Meanwhile, dry fry your strips of ham steak in a medium sized pan. Remove to a separate plate, and dry fry bread rounds in the same pan—this will help absorb some of that yummy meat flavor. Place the bread rounds on a plate, and lay the ham on top. When the eggs are done, gently run a spoon around the edge of each cup to loosen the eggs, lift them out and place them upright on top of the ham.

In a very small saucepan, quickly melt the pat of butter, stirring constantly, being careful not to let the butter brown. Remove from heat, squeeze lemon wedge into butter and stir. Pour lemon butter over eggs and ham. Sprinkle eggs with cayenne or paprika, and garnish with tomatoes.

Now, take that beautiful plate of eggs, sit by the window in the sunshine, pull out your paper and listen to the hum of NPR gently cresting and falling in the background—or read trashy magazines to the sounds of Bach, or watch pigeons tap-dance on your air conditioner (you get the idea)…But whatever you do, don’t stand up. Enjoy the mini-masterpiece you have just made for yourself, and I can guarantee that a sly smile will start to cross your lips too.

My new favorite blog is Mix Tape Therapy. Ms. Mix & Bitch answers your existential life questions, often about relationships, and then spins you the emotion-appropriate music mix. I think it’s such a great combo of sass, wit, poignancy, and incredible taste in music that I had to ask her to come up with a list for the Sexy Spoon. Now you know what to listen to while making Seduction by Roast Chicken!

Without further adieu, drum roll please, as I turn the mic over to Ms. Mix & Bitch…

I get a lot of questions about love, sex, and relationships, which makes sense because few things feed and sustain our souls like love can. A close tie for second place for me are music and food. Like a long, soulful kiss, a catchy hook and tasty forkful have the power to put us into a Zen state or an endorphin high like nothing else.

So it makes sense to offer Sexy Spoon readers an eclectic fusion of the three. Consider this our homage to the Holy Trinity of Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll…

Top Ten Songs to Play While Cooking that Seduction Supper

10. “Amy, Amy, Amy,” [Amy Winehouse] Frank.

9. “Tonight I’m Gonna Make You a Star,” [B.B. King] Take It Home.

8. “So in Love,” [Curtis Mayfield] There’s No Place Like America Today.

7. “Why Don’t We Get Drunk (and Screw),” [Jimmy Buffett] Boats, Beaches, Bars, and Ballads.

6. “Your Body is a Wonderland,” [John Mayer] Room for Squares.

5. “Anyone Else But You,” [The Moldy Peaches] The Moldy Peaches.

4. “Simple As It Should Be,” [Tristan Prettyman] Twenty Three.

3. “Red Meets Blue,” [Matt Wertz] Today & Tomorrow.

2. “My Favorite Book,” [Stars] In Our Bedroom After the War.

1. “Northern Sky,” [Nick Drake] Way to Blue.

When I lived in Paris, I spent a good deal of time eating with my British friend Julia. We met for crepes every Monday afternoon, went out for large lunches of steak au poivre, and drank Poire Williams or Pastis when we had the spare change. Julia was beautiful and animated, with an incredible sense of style (she was wearing leggings and ballet flats years before the trend caught on in the States). But of all the adventures and meals we shared, the one I remember best took place at Chez Omar in the Marais. We had ordered a lamb and vegetable tagine that came accompanied by a steaming platter of buttery couscous. As we savored each bite, Julia looked up at me and said, “Rachel, you know what I think is so sexy? Women who can eat generously.”

After six months of living in a city where most women eat pain au chocolat, baguettes, wedges of Camembert, drink wine, and still are able to slip into their size 2 Jean-Paul Gautier jeans, it was jarring to return to America and the world of Atkins, South Beach, and apple juice diets. Carb-free milk? Seriously? Suddenly, I found myself out for lunch with both men and women ordering sandwiches without the bread. I would go to dinner and while I inhaled an order of pad thai, my friends would pick at their steamed vegetables and chicken breast.

This all got me thinking: can’t you love food, be healthy, and stay slim? And the answer is…OF COURSE!

Now, first things first: I cannot emphasize enough that being healthy and happy is the number one priority. Body image, food, and being attractive are such immense topics that I am not going to go into too much detail here. What I will say is this: being a former dancer and, just as importantly, a young American women, I know the pressures that are exerted on us to be thin. I have struggled with them and I honestly cannot say that I know of more than a handful of women who have not. I could write a book on this subject, but I’m going to limit myself to 500 words and tell you that I believe a sexy woman is a healthy woman. Guys, this goes for you too! So I’m going to be posting some simple, healthy recipes that I eat on a regular basis. As my father says, “your body is a holy vessel,” so treat it with respect. Besides, what guys are into girls whose ribs they can count? In this world where life can change in the blink of an eye, we all want something we can hold onto.

As an ode to Julia and her pithy insight, here is one of my favorite couscous recettes:

What you need:

*1 large eggplant, cubbed
*2 zucchinis, cut in half and then chopped into bite-size pieces
*2 red bell peppers, cut into bit-size pieces
*1 red onion, coarsely chopped
*olive oil
*salt and pepper
*1 can chickpeas
*2 c. cooked whole wheat couscous (follow directions on box)
*2 T paprika
*dash of cayenne pepper
*3 more T olive oil
*juice of half a lemon

Preheat oven to 350 F. On a large backing sheet or in a large baking dish, place eggplant, zucchini, red pepper, and onion.

Drizzle with olive oil and shake the pan until all the vegetables are well-coated. Sprinkle on salt and pepper. Bake until vegetables are soft, but still a bit crunchy. About 20 - 25 minutes, depending on size.

In a large bowl, mix roasted vegetables, chickpeas, couscous, paprika, and cayenne. Add olive and lemon and toss all together. Taste and season accordingly. Eat with gusto.

The summer before my freshman year of college was an emotional roller coaster. My relationship with My First Love had ended and I spent the hours when I was not waitressing at the local café at home crying. My mother tried to alleviate my distress with panzanella, fusilli with grilled vegetables, and strawberries drizzled with balsamic vinegar. When that didn’t work, my grandmother took me to Europe for two weeks and I sulked around Turkey, Greece, and the Amalfi Coast eating some of the most delicious food I’d ever tasted. But my heart still hurt and, in the end, I was more preoccupied thinking about how love is supposed to conquer all than about the falafel I ate in Istanbul.

I came back, thin and tan, and my best friend decided to take matters into her own hands and dragged me to a party with some of her friends from the local Shakespeare summer theatre festival.

The Nephew caught my eye immediately - he was tall and lean, with a tangle of brown curls, and he couldn’t dance for the life of him. When we were introduced, I was struck by his sweetness (and his cupid bow lips). For the next month, we were inseparable in that way you can only be when you are young and the summer feels like it will never end. We sat on the hood of his car and watched fireworks, made out on the sofa in my parents’ living room, ate an inordinate amount of ice cream, and got kicked out of bars for being underage.

In between making out and eating ice cream, the Nephew often talked about his family back in Vermont and a particular great-aunt who lived in Cambridge. It was “Aunt Julia” this and “Aunt Julia” that. I thought it was rather endearing that he was so close to his aging aunt, but there were only so many stories I could listen to about how his Aunt Julia made the most delicious roast chicken and apple tarts.

A couple weeks into our relationship, the Nephew and I were sitting in the parking lot of the local Ben and Jerry’s. He was talking about his Aunt Julia again and I was trying not to roll my eyes until he said, “Actually, since you like to cook, maybe you’ve heard of my Aunt Julia. She’s quite famous. Have you ever heard of Julia Child?”

I was mute. Did I know who Julia Child was? Are you kidding me? I had been reading Mastering the Art of French Cooking since I was ten. I knew her recipes for coq au vin and chocolate soufflé by heart! My mother’s copy of the book was well thumbed and splattered with the debris of my culinary mishaps.

Suddenly, I wanted to hear every story the Nephew had to tell about his Aunt Julia - the details of her roast chicken, the time Jacques Pepin gave him a bar of chocolate, and what Julia liked to serve for breakfast (shocking: powdered donuts).

But sadly, my enthusiasm for the tales of his Aunt Julia did not reflect my feelings for the Nephew. I was leaving for college in a few weeks, he was going back to Vermont, and I realized, that after the intensity of my high school relationship, I needed to be on my own for a while. And even my desire to meet Julia Child in person (and maybe Jacques Pepin too) was not enough to keep me.

When I broke things off with the Nephew, he was so sweet. I think he might have even quoted the Dire Straits and whispered, “hey Julie, it’s just that the time was wrong.” We lost touch many, many years ago, but I still can’t help but think of him every time I open my copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

As a tribute to him and his Aunt Julia, here is my version of coq au vin adapted from the lovely Julia and the wonderful Mark Bittman. I think it’s perfect for a chilly evening, especially when there is a man to tell you long, lingering stories.

Here is what you need:

For the chicken:

*6 slices uncooked bacon chopped into bits (put the bacon in the freezer for 10 - 15 minutes to make it easier to cut)
*1 large yellow onion sliced into rings
*4 pounds chicken thighs (you can throw in some breasts too, but if you’re eating coq au vin, you shouldn’t be counting calories anyway)
*4 garlic cloves minced
*2 cups chicken stock
*2 cups red wine (I usually opt for a Cotes du Rhone, but don’t bother buying anything too fancy)
*1/2 pound baby bella mushrooms quartered (oh what the hell, you can just chop them up too, don’t have to be too dainty about it)
*2 T butter
*fresh ground pepper and sea salt to taste
*fresh chopped Italian parsley

For the potatoes:

*6 yukon gold potatoes, cubed into bite-size pieces
*olive oil
*fresh ground pepper and sea salt to taste

In a large pot, sautée the bacon on medium-high heat until the fat begins to melt and bacon begins to get crispy. Add the onion and continue cooking until the onions begin to soften. Add the chicken thighs and brown, turning and stirring to make sure that nothing burns. After you’ve browned the chicken (this doesn’t have to be uniform), sprinkle on the chopped garlic.

Give everything a good stir and then pour in the stock and wine. Bring to a simmer and cook uncovered for 45 minutes. The sauce will have reduced and the chicken will be deliciously tender. At this point, you can remove the pot from heat and set aside until you are close to being ready to eat.

The potatoes will take about half an hour to cook. Heat the oven to 350 and place the potatoes in a large baking dishes. Drizzle with olive oil just to coat and sprinkle with pepper and salt. Place in oven and stir with a wide spatula every ten minutes or so to cook evenly.

About ten minutes before serving, bring the chicken back to a boil and add the mushrooms. Cook until tender and then quickly stir in the butter. Season to taste with fresh ground pepper and sea salt.

I like to serve this dish in deep bowls. First, spoon in a nice portion of potatoes, followed by a chicken thigh and a generous serving of the sauce. Garnish with parsley.

I often accompany this meal with a baguette and the same wine that was used to cook the chicken. Bon appetit!

So yesterday I received a very amusing voicemail from my friend B. It went like this: “Uh, hi, Rachel. This is B. I need a good seafood restaurant recommendation and you seem like the right person to ask about that. Also, I need a good dirty joke about shellfish.”

Huh? Was this B’s idea of a practical joke? To taunt me, knowing how much I love to recommend restaurants? And a dirty joke about shellfish? I think not.

I gave him a ring back and, surprisingly, was overjoyed at the news I received. B had met a girl “the normal way.” To put this in context following my last post, B and I once drove across the great state of Massachusetts lamenting being single at the time and the trials and tribulations of online dating. I’m thrilled to say that B had given up on OK Cupid and last week, tried chatting up a girl in a coffee shop. She gave him her number. They went on a great first date. She’s really into food (my kind of woman) and so B wants to take her to a seafood place for their second date. I suggested East Coast Grill in Inman Square. It’s always a scene on the weekend, they have fab margaritas, and dishes like “Wings of Mass Destruction … Smoked, Jerked & Grilled!!” and “Chile Crusted Black ‘n Blue Tuna Taco.” And if all goes well, you can take a walk around Inman in the warm spring air or stop by Christina’s for dessert.

So I’m keeping my fingers crossed for B! I just hope he doesn’t use any of our dirty shellfish jokes…

Email me (rachel@sexyspoon.com) for more recommendations on dating locations!

OK, I had my reservations about writing this post - I thought it might detract from my foodie status. However, this blog is about food and love, which are great individually, but together make a killer combo. So this is for all you women AND men out there who keep cornering me at parties or sending me surreptitious emails or calling me late at night to try and convince me to reveal my secret for snagging a great date. I don’t want to be snide, because I know that many of us in our mid-twenties are starting to feel nervous about finding that special someone (and some of us just want to get laid, for goodness sake). As for the latter, you really don’t need my help. But for the former, here is my advice. There is no quick solution - I promise there is not a secret government location where are all the smart, attractive, kind, adventurous, curious single people are being hoarded, because you’d be there too! So if you want to score more dates with more quality people, here are my suggestions. I know you’ll have questions and comments, so holla!

(I also would like to add the following disclaimer to what I’m about to write: not to dispel the fantasy, but I don’t go on a date every night of the week. I’m not constantly running home from the office to whip up pasta puttanesca or molten chocolate cake and slipping into a black silk negligee to great my next suitor. I don’t just make eyes at men in the grocery store and then have them begging to feed me fresh strawberries by hand.)

1. Be happy with who you are. Oh, I know! It’s so touchy-feely and New Agey. But seriously, it’s really hard to find someone to love you when you don’t love yourself (now the other end of the spectrum - narcissism - is not where you want to end up either). Nobody is perfect, including you, but people who are excited about their own lives exude something…something attractive. I don’t know what the science of it is (when I take physics and chemistry this year, maybe I’ll come up with something), but I’ve seen it time and time again: when you start focusing on your own life and stop looking for someone, the person you’ve been looking for finds you.

2. It’s Saturday night - what are you doing at home!?!? I don’t care if you have a test on Monday, a massive presentation at work, don’t want to go out in the rain, think you’re having a bad hair day. No, no, no, that just won’t do! You don’t meet new people in your living room.

3. On that note, if you don’t have plans, make some. Call up your friend from high school and see what she’s up to. Or what about that guy from work you’ve been meaning to catch a beer with? Seize the moment and reach out to new people.

4. Along those lines, while I think it is essential to always make time for your friends, if you find yourself having a drink with the girls every Friday night or watching sports with the boys, change your routine. You know these people already - do you want to date them? Now I am in no way implying that you should ditch your friends. Nuh-uh. But I’m sure they will understand if you want to spice things up. And if they don’t, maybe you do need new friends.

5. Never say no to an invitation. Friends of friends are your best bet for meeting someone great. In my experience, the party you least expect to be fun or almost blow off, is usually the party where you have the most fun and meet the most new, interesting people. So say yes to your co-worker’s dinner party or go to brunch with that old friend from college and her friends. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

6. Bars are for hooking up, not for finding life partners. While I do know couples who met in bars, the chances of stumbling across your soul mate after drinking two dirty martinis and dancing around to Flo Rida is slim to nil, in my opinion. If you want to go clubbing, go with the mentality of having fun - don’t go with the expectation that you’re actually going to meet someone - you’ll just be disappointed.

7. Online dating? Turn your computer off. Again, I know very happy couples who met online and I don’t think there’s any stigma attached to it. I actually went on a JDate spree last summer - 15 first dates in under six weeks. And you know what? My friend Adam is the only guy I met who I cooked for. Pictures can lie, you can have great “email chemistry,” blah blah blah, but until you really meet someone in the flesh, you won’t know if you spark. And there’s a lot of pressure that goes with first dates - they are like interviews with cocktails. So while it’s fun to run around and go out with a bizillion guys, in the end, I think you’d have better luck spending the time you would have online, going out and engaging with the world.

8. Be friendly. Now let me just say that deep down, I’m a painfully shy person. But I make myself get over it. When you meet someone new, you don’t need to have some witty one-liner or a good quote from Plato up your sleeve. Just be yourself, ask questions, and smile. When you are engaging, people do it right back. And if for some reason they don’t, eh, well, they suck and you wouldn’t want to know them anyway.

9. Don’t make snap judgments. Now my friends will tell you that I am the queen of deciding in under five minutes whether a guy is right for me. He hasn’t read Freud or doesn’t have the physique of David Beckham and I’m already moving on. This is a problem and I don’t encourage any of you to emulate me. People can and will surprise you. There are obviously cases when you should listen to your gut instinct - such as when a guy whispers into your ear that last week he went to Vegas and dropped ten grand (this is the same as him saying “I like strippers and have a gambling problem…want to try and help reform me?”) - but sometimes, I hate to say it, your gut is wrong. You might not spark on your first date, but you might spark on your second.

10. Don’t stop believing! Personally, I don’t have much faith that we all have a soul mate. I think there is more than one person out there who will make a wonderful life partner for each of us. But as my father says, “you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.” So you shouldn’t get down on yourself if you go on dates and they don’t work out, whether it’s because you don’t think he’s that cute or because he doesn’t call you. You can’t be everyone’s type. It’s just that simple. But you are someone’s type, no doubt about it. And you’ll find that special someone. In that I have faith.

I’ve been using cooking, and in particular, baking, as a means of seducing men for years. Even in high school, I remember making coconut soufflés with dark chocolate sauce for My First Love. I don’t think he ever looked at me with more adoration in his eyes then when he took that first rich bite.

College and the dearth of clean kitchens in dorms (i.e. ones that were not covered with beer) made baking a bit more of a challenge. I managed, however, over those four years, to make these brownies, in several different incarnations, for various guys. I did not know at the time, however, that these brownies hold a mysterious power over men - you might be astounded at what lengths guys will go to to hold onto a woman who can make such an incredible dessert.

I first discovered the power of these brownies my sophomore year. I was dating this senior. Let’s call him Mr. Econ Major. He was very smart, very cute, very polite (he always opened the car door and insisted on paying for dinner), and had already been hired by a prestigious New York investment firm in November. We had a brief, yet impassioned relationship that ended quite suddenly when I woke up in his bed one morning and realized, that despite our chemistry, we had nothing in common. He respectfully listened to me talk about dance and Chinese and I, in turn, smiled and nodded with genuine curiosity and perplexity as he explained what an investment banker actually does.

I suspect Mr. Econ Major felt my feelings waning and I was sad that there was not more to sustain our fledgling romance. I thought he was delightful - handsome, driven, and funny - but I couldn’t imagine what we would talk about the next time we went out for dinner. So I decided to give it a last ditch shot and bake him brownies. As he took the first bite of a still-warm-from-the-oven brownie, he gave me an affectionate smile and said, “These are the most incredible brownies I’ve ever had. You are incredible.”

A woman has a hard time resisting such flattery and I thought, momentarily, that our mutual love of my baking would sustain us at least until Spring Break. But then he wrote me a poem. About the brownies. And it rhymed.

Now, I don’t want to come across as a total snob (but maybe I am a little bit!), but poetry is something I hold to be very sacred. My father is a poet and I have been writing poetry all my life. On family vacations, my parents and I sit around together exchanging writing exercises. Unless your name is William Carlos Williams or Billy Collins, I’m just the wrong girl to write a poem for that includes the lines “she baked me a brownie so sweet, that I hoped we would soon again meet.” It was an amazing gesture and, for a different women, it would have been wonderfully romantic.

I ended things with Mr. Econ Major several days later (and it really wasn’t because of the poem). I knew then that, in the long run, it was a good decision for both of us. I heard he is now married to another beautiful investment banker and lives in the suburbs. They have lovely China and, I suspect, a gorgeous family on the way.

These brownies also played a pivotal role in my relationship with my Summer Fling of 2003. I adored my Summer Fling with an abandon that is usually reserved for relationships that you know will last beyond September 1st. Ours probably would have, except I was moving to China and he was moving back home to Illinois. I remember crying in Logan airport as I waited to board my flight to Beijing, wishing that I could ask my Summer Fling to come with me and that our love would endure beyond a single summer. But I was twenty and craving adventure. I spent the next four years always moving - China, Paris, Washington, back to the US to finish up college, and then back to Shanghai. But when I returned to America all those years later, I reconnected with my Summer Fling and our romance recommenced with as much intensity as it had begun. Unfortunately, my Summer Fling was still living with his ex girlfriend and, though my gut told me to be wary, my heart was so overjoyed at our reunion that I baked him these brownies. I should have known better. These brownies are too powerful to be used lightly.

I brought the brownies along the next time I went to visit him and though I was under the impression that his ex had moved out, I soon began to realize that perhaps I was mistaken. I commented on his excellent cookbook collection. Not his. I mentioned how cute his herb garden was. Again, not his. And the floral body lotion in the bathroom? I didn’t bother to ask. As we ate the brownies though, these items seemed less and less important - we were reunited! He obviously adored me - that look in his eyes as he took a bite of brownie! What did it matter that his ex still lingered? She would be gone soon enough, if the brownies had their way.

Our rekindled romance, however, ended as passionately as it had started. The next day his ex showed up at their apartment while I was there (in the midst of, er, an intimate moment), him proceeding to freak out, and me bursting into tears and fleeing home. After my tears and rage subsided, my greatest regret was that I had left without snatching up the brownies. I was temporarily devastated, but I soon bounced back, having learned my lesson about ex-girlfriends and baking these brownies. Besides, in the end, I got the recipe and all he got was two exes.

So be careful for whom you bake these brownies - they have the power to make men lie, to woo, and to commit unreasonable acts of passion. Use them wisely.

What you need:

* a worthy man
* 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
* 8 oz. bittersweet chocolate
* 1 1/3 cup sugar
* 5 eggs
* 1 tsp vanilla
* ¼ tsp salt
* 2 ½ T instant espresso
* 1 2/3 c flour (you don’t need to sift it, but give it a good stir with a fork in a measuring cup)
* 6 oz. milk chocolate chips
* 1 ½ cups chopped walnuts

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Line an 8×8 baking dish with tin foil. Grease the foil (I won’t judge if you use Pam - I do too, sometimes).

In a medium saucepan melt the butter and bittersweet chocolate on VERY low heat (painfully low - the lowest setting possible). Stir with a wooden spoon. If at any point the chocolate begins to bubble, remove it from the heat and stir vigorously. I don’t believe in double boilers (which would alleviate the need to be so vigilante), but I don’t believe in burning the chocolate either. When the chocolate and butter have completely melted and are glossy and smooth, remove from heat.

In a separate bowl beat together for ten minutes the sugar, eggs, vanilla, salt and espresso. Best to use an electric mixer, but your arm and whisk will do (guys dig muscle definition). Next, stir in the chocolate until just combined. Fold in the flour, chocolate chips, and walnuts until just combined.

Pour the batter into the baking dish and stick in the oven. Bake for about 25 minutes. After removing the brownies from the oven, let cool completely before cutting into squares.

Again, I cannot stress how important it is to:

1. Bake these brownies for a man you are serious about and who is worthy of your affection.
2. Not burn the chocolate. Domestic goddesses don’t burn chocolate.

P.S. A special thanks to Amanda and Renee for being my kindness editors!